Flow

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My Plumeria (Frangipani) in Carlsbad: When I left my previous company, a coworker of mine, whom is really like a fairy godmother to me, gifted me this plumeria. She told me she wanted to give it to me because it reminded her of me. Plumerias are beautiful, fertile, and can endure difficult conditions. They are also native to tropical climates and I’m originally from a tropical island 😉 During the winter months, they typically become dormant and lose their leaves! My plumeria did not lose her leaves this winter. PS. I’ve had this plant since August and it’s the longest I’ve been able to maintain a plant and not kill it (yes, including cacti and air plants – I’ve killed a couple of those).

What I’m about to write is not intended to be read as medical advice. I’m about to describe my own processes in healing my own body. Please always listen to your health care provider because even if an individual that you share a primary diagnosis with uses an approach that appears to work for them,  you may have a series of co-morbidities that may prohibit a similar approach working for you and could potentially cause additional complicationsIt is for this reason that I will not mention nor tag my primary diagnosis in this post.

I’ve spent the weekend fully harnessing the full moon energy in Leo to heal my body. While I don’t ever speak of what’s going on in my mental and emotional world real-time (I only share after years of processing, if that), I have no shame talking about whatever may be going on with my body. I’m a relatively healthy person (physically). I rarely get sick, I have a healthy appearing affect, and can endure quire a bit physically – I have a pretty strong constitution. My only challenge with my body is an endocrine disorder that was diagnosed when I was 13. There’s no known cure for it, but I have certainly gone outside of the realms of Western Medicine for healing and it has proven to make the difference.

I don’t take very many pharmaceuticals aside from vaccines. I’m fully vaccinated and in-support of all children becoming vaccinated. However, outside of vaccines, I use medications only when truly necessary. When I have a headache, I brew the teas my grandmother taught me how to make. If I start feeling ill (ie. congestion, malaise, experience pain, etc.) , which rarely happens, I also refer to the earth medicine I learned in my childhood. Though I work for pharma, I don’t believe that pharmaceuticals should be a primary, secondary, or even tertiary forms of intervention for the management of symptoms and/or (chronic) illness. I group pharmacotherapy with surgical interventions. This is not to say that pharmacotherapy is “evil” – It certainly has its place. In the context of acute, emergency, and (physical) trauma care, I think Western Medicine and pharmacotherapy are the answer.

(Why did I emphasize physical trauma in this sentence? I’m deeply aware of the concept of the mind-body connection. When I used the term “physical” trauma in this sentence, I’m referring to instances such as gun-shot wounds, near fatal car accidents, broken bones, physical blows to the head, etc. Situations that require immediate attention. I think Western medicine is top-notch in these instances. However, Western Medicine has plenty of short-comings in the after effects of the initial treatment. Here’s an anecdote shared by Sigrid Ellis that describes what I’m attempting to convey: “I heard a thing on a podcast this weekend, how Americans are really good at acute compassion, but pretty bad at chronic empathy. We, without question, haul strangers out of a raging flood, give blood, give food, give shelter. But we are lousy at legislating safe, sustainable communities, at eldercare, at accessible streets and buildings. It is the long-term work that makes the disasters less damaging. But we don’t want to give to the needy, we want to save the endangered. We don’t like being care workers, we want to be heroes. The world does not need more heroes. We need more care.” Her words can be applied to the American healthcare “system”. The current medial care system is designed to treat illness rather than to treat humans. If you’d like to read more about the schism read about the difference between disease-centered care vs. patient-centered care.)

As I mentioned up above, I have a syndrome that affects my endocrine system, as well as other systems in my body. There is no known cure for it. When looking at me, you’d rarely be able to tell I have it, because I don’t look like someone who has it! The only symptom, I struggle with out of a long list of symptoms is the irregularity of my menstrual cycle. This is why I’ve been taking hormones on a monthly basis since I was 13 years old. I’ve tried to get off of them, but then my body doesn’t have a monthly “release”, and my hormone chemistry levels are thrown off the natural homeostasis for a female body, which creates a series of issues/symptoms.

When I was in Panama in 2018, I finally met (in-person) the lovely Justine Miller from Rhythm of Simplicity whom introduced me to Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga. Justine is an E-RYT 500-hr Ayurvedic Yoga Teacher and an Ayurvedic Life Coach. We had done a full consultation prior to meeting in Cambutal, Panama. Justine identified my dosha dominance as Vata-Kapha (and it truly resonates!). Given the chaos of my lifestyle (can we say travel on steroids?), Ayurvedic principles became something I could adapt with quite a lot of ease. I haven’t taken any hormones in 2020. I planned to start again in February, but the 70 hour week I worked in 5 days during the last week of January totally sidetracked my health schedule. Anyway, on today’s full moon, I have my first naturally (non artificial hormone induced period) since 2015 and that’s quite literally a miracle (read about the meaning of bleeding with different cycles of the moon here). To try to contain the damage I inflicted upon my body the previous week, I followed Ayurvedic principles this past week (the ones I’ve been using since I met Justine) and placed an emphasis on getting a ton of sleep. I’m beyond thrilled to have my first natural period in years!!!! I feel like a major weight has been lifted off of my body – I literally feel less constricted.  I feel as if I can run 3 marathons right now! FLOW is quite literally LIFE for the feminine 😉

Lastly, since I shared Dr. Maté’s addiction video yesterday, I’d like to share the addiction I most struggle with: I’m addicted to loneliness. Not just to being alone, to being lonely (huge difference). I derive a huge amount of pleasure, a chunk of my sense of self, as well as a feeling of accomplishment from doing incredibly hard things (and all of life) without the support or witnessing of (an)other(s). Which is bizarre, because as expressed by Dr. Maté, “Trauma isn’t what happens to you. It’s what happens inside you. It’s when you’re alone with your pain and sadness so you can’t process it and move through it.” Here’s to Sunday.