Consumed

During  yesterday’s Pisces full moon, my heart unexpectedly broke open.

This morning I ran to the ocean, buried my feet deep in the sand, as the tide continued to rise around me. A metaphor for my internal state.

Any fellow Piscean moons reading this? The electrifying energy of the moon has filled me with a desire and longing so intense that it cannot possibly be held inside my body nor shared with another. The love I feel is cosmic and universal in nature. It’s intense in the most inexplicable ways.

I tried nature. I tried meditation. I tried breathing techniques. I tried writing. I tried dancing. I tried a HIIT workout. I tried listening to music for a distraction. I tried talking with friends. I tried, I tried, I tried, but I can’t contain. So I sit here with this unbearable discomfort which is starting to feel like a heavy grief. This resurgence feels ancient. Even after all this time, I’m still learning how to lean into discomfort.

In my music escapade portion of the day, I came across this tune and wow. This song lyrically and musically makes me feel understood – down to the bones and to the outline of my soul.

Tonight – I wonder why I was born this way.

Because I feel like I’m drowning. In a sea of cosmic love.


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