“It is a curious thing, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.” J.K Rowling via Dumbledore
The day is here! After all my work is done for the day, I’ll be off for the next 12 days using only one day of PTO. I’m grateful I’ve been given the opportunity to do the work that I do, but I’m tired. It’s time for me to get some deep rest. See some musings below:
- The mileage shared above is for domestic flights only. I haven’t flown internationally since 2018. The only country outside of the US I visited in 2019 was Mexico. I drove. I only live 1.5 hour drive from the Baja California region in Mexico. The mileage above also doesn’t account for the number of times I landed in a particular city to drive to another (ie. Montana – Helena or Bozeman to Butte (and back), Texas – Dallas to Longview (and back), Salt Lake City, ID to Idaho Falls, ID, etc.) The graph below captures a combination of my flight and road miles. I’ll provide a true end of year count on 31-Dec-2019.
Here’s my carbon footprint information for anyone who is interested (calculated by http://www.carbonlighthouse.com – unsure of the validity of their calculations). Look at the travel bar – woo child! I’m sweating.
- I’m often asked why I work so hard/much. There are two reasons: freedom and peace. I don’t care much for praise nor promotions nor admiration. I care about getting things done. The sooner you get your work done, the faster you can go live your life. I work hard to pay off all my student debt and to buy myself an early retirement. I don’t desire to become a hot shot or a person in some international stage that directly or indirectly tells people how to live their lives. I don’t possess delusions of changing the world and saving the day. “Grassroots movements provide an opportunity for everyone to have a voice in what our society looks like – It’s at the core of what a democracy can and should be.” – Shannon Frattaroli, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. I don’t want to have children nor to create the traditional nuclear family structure. The only thing I want is to be my most vital self so that I can give the best version of myself to those in my community. I want to be a doula of sorts – a source of support – for when someone has another breakdown in the name of crony capitalism. If you have the time and courage, next time a homeless person comes across your path, rather than dismissing them as “disgusting”, ask them a question that highlights their humanity. We’re all human. We all struggle. Outside of being of support to others, I want to be a storytelling explorer – a physical, metaphysical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual explorer.
- Is it my 6 planets in Capricorn, 5 of which are in the 6th house? My midheaven in Aries? Is it <insert something here>? How do I do it? This has been my grind since I was 17. My life has been a giant game of survival and I think I’ve done an okay job at it. I am all I have. It’s the reason why I place so much emphasis on community. I don’t want other humans to feel like they have to do life on their own because (1) we’re not designed to and (2) it sucks. I’m grateful for apps like Instacart because I can order my groceries from JIMBO’s during flight takeoff while heading back home and have them delivered by 9AM the next morning. I’m grateful that when I get home, since I don’t have to go into an office, I can do laundry AND work at the same time. I’m grateful that I can use the internet to schedule all my car maintenance online. All I have to do is show up at the shop. I’m thankful that I can do the same for doctor’s and dental appointments. All I have to do is show up at the clinics. Online banking and bill pay portals are EVERYTHING. I’m grateful for having roommates that are awesome people – we share chores so an entire household isn’t all on me (cleaning, trash, etc.). I’m grateful for all the massage therapists, therapists (ya’ll heard of telemedicine?), hair stylists, fitness instructors, yoga & meditation teachers, and people that help me keep my physical, mental, and spiritual health in check when I come back from all my trips. I don’t want to find myself on the brink of suicide or hospitalized for my body being unable to handle the allostatic overload again. I’m also grateful for YouTube tutorials for teaching me how to do hair and makeup on myself. Grateful for checklists for helping me keep track of all this stuff! Damn I forget shit often – lists really help. A shoutout to Minimalist Baker – your recipes give me life! Forever grateful for my pillars of emotional support and strength: Hajar (Orange County), Matt (Seattle), Nick (Denver). I may not have people geographically near me that I can text asking for favors/support directly, but somehow it all works out. And for the nosy folk out there – yes, I am single. I have certainly gone on dates, but like “Why are you doing stuff all the time?” If I don’t do it, who will? My life isn’t always going to look like this and I know that someday I’ll have a bit more balance. Sometimes you have to do less than perfect things to get to where you want to go. The climb up the mountain isn’t a perfectly curated path. I’m staying in the arena – if you don’t like it, bite me 😉 PS. Getting to live in San Diego is all the extrinsic motivation I need!
- What do I plan to do with my time off? Rest. There will be lots of sleep, massages, extended work outs, lots of yoga, frolicking around the beach (yes – the Pacific is cold, but a sunny day is a sunny day), lots of reading, catching up with friends via FaceTime, upping the skin care routines, exploring new recipes, and local adventures. There will be one adventure from 12/27 – 12/29 that is not local, but I made sure to use my miles for a non-stop flight under 3 hours. I want to balance my beach time with some snowy mountain time 😉 I certainly had the miles to go to a fancy far-off destination by only paying taxes (flights, hotels, and car rentals would have been all on my miles/points), but my body can’t handle it. I’m exhausted. I did think about flying to Cabo San Lucas (2h 15 min nonstop via Southwest), but all of my friends are spending time with their families and such. I travel completely alone all the time. It can be lonely as hell unless I know someone in my destination city. Cabo by yourself this time of the year doesn’t sound too fun. As mentioned before, I’ll ring in the New Year in LA! Also, I think Baby Yoda is adorable so I may make some time to watch The Mandalorian.
And just for the hell of it: